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Unbelievable as it may seem, the rumours coming out of IBM appear to be true. Jeanette Irons is going to go for a whole month without alcohol. This news has sent shock waves through the liquor industry. Already the shutters have gone up on her local bottle shop, and the share price of Dan Murphy has plummeted. Research scientists have started to speculate about what effect this sudden lack of pickling have on her brain. Will she finally lose that funny accent?